is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
should my penis look like a turkey
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
