You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
