Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
