I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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