Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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