I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
