just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
