Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize