I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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