Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
