Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize