You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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