And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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