She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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