What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
