Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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