3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
