Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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