That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
