At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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