everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize