While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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