I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
