I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
