ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
