How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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