and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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