I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
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