Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
