how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
