he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
