She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Randomize
