Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
