i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
