Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
