the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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