mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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