we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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