That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
