so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
