Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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