oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
She needs sedatives and a leash
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
