I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
MIDGETS
????
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
