I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
