it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
