I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
