I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
