8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
