i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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