A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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