dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
