i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I will be naked everywhere
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize