Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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