Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
my sisters under your porch take her home
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Please don't give away my fajitas
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
