I hate your face
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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