all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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