My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize