Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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